General

ha, I know exactly how you feel. So many nice girls out there, yet so few share my fetish.
Sometimes it feels although it is impossible to find a combination of the two things, the fetish and the relation. It has caused me to much pain in the past.

guys I went to school with would joke about this girl (who I had a crush on)

... she's not even big though - that's the weird thing

it's a mad mad world

This is just my take on the situation.You say he loves this larger woman in a long distance relation ship.Has he ever even tried to meet up with her?

With you there close showing him all the love you feel for him & him getting upset when you talk of leaving.Doesn't that seem
as if he's trying to have the best of both worlds?

Has he ever talked to you about gaining?About becoming like his big girl?Saying if you did then maybe he would end it with her?

I feel he may just be using you to say he has someone when really his heart is with the other woman.As I said just my view on things.

You need to sit back & look over the whole situation & see what's "really" in it for you.If it's not right then either lay down the law or leave no matter how hard he cries & begs.You can't live your life being the other woman especially when she isn't even here!